messymiraculousmommy

 I was once told by a livid atheist: "Forgiveness is not the prerogative of Christians."  I looked straight into his angry eyes and saw the all too familiar struggle: he knew he was wronged and he wanted justice. And he knew he was thirsty for the wrong doer's blood and he didn't like that about himself. His experience and his intellect were telling him that it would be better to forgive. He had even convinced himself he could forgive just as easily as any openly Christian person like I could. But his entire body screamed NO! I DO NOT WANT TO FORGIVE! Of course, the main reason for that was that far from being repentant, his wrong doer was smugly celebrating his wrong doing in full public view. His wrong doer was getting away with the crime and no one could stop him. As one who cared deeply for both these atheist men: the wrong doer and the wronged, I could not convey to them how to forgive each other without Christ in the picture. If you want to leave Christ out of t...

Every Easter, my childhood parish choir sang this song: " I will sing unto the Lord for He has triumphed gloriously, the horse and rider fell into the sea ." And I would cringe. After all, what kind of a human being celebrates the drowning of many horses and their riders??! As I grew older, I just refused to sing that line, even as part of the choir. I wanted no part in rejoicing over anyone's death. I was a pacifist to the core before I knew what the word pacifist meant.  Obviously, I had never read the Bible and I had no idea that these were the very opening words of an actual song sung by a historical person- Miriam- after she was delivered along with her entire community from 400 years of slavery.  Miriam was born into slavery. That is all she knew. Until she stood in the waters of the river Nile as a young child and watched an incredible miracle. The daughter of the man who had ordered all Hebrew baby boys to be murdered, heard her baby brother's cry and chose to...

Growing up in a convent school, we were taught that abortion is wrong. But that's all we ever heard about being pro life. So it's easy to assume that's all there is to it. Over the years, having faced infertility and caring for our elders who couldn't care for themselves, God Himself has taught us so much more about being pro life: 1. God is the Author of Life (Acts 3:15) And only He has the moral authority as Creator (not creation) to decide the natural beginning and natural ending of human life created in His image and likeness. I am not God.  I can't create life.  And I can't decide when human life ends.  It's not just the five year long frustration of being unable to conceive that brought me to accept this. It's also the day my doctor told me that nothing else is working with me, so it's time to do IVF. We had already done our research and so I knew that it was fine to assist natural reproduction but definitely not to replace it by dissociating...

As my children grow and ask for a pet dog, I find myself revisiting every dog I’ve known in my life and what they’ve meant to me. Well, that was a quick revisit because I’m NOT an animal lover and animals mean nothing at all to me. (Pet lovers, please keep reading). But I have many friends and family to whom their pet dogs have meant a lot, surely even more than I mean to them. As I look upon their profound devotion to their dogs, I can’t help but wonder what it is that they get from that relationship. For me, an animal who can’t feed or clean itself just means one more being that I have to be wholly responsible for. In addition, unlike humans, pets will never grow up and start giving themselves a bath, so this is a long-term daily responsibility.   I’ve heard from dog lovers that their dog loves them unconditionally and is always attentive to their every emotional need that allegedly even other humans can’t pick up. I heard someone tell me once as we were discussing a family i...

THE FIRST NOEL began with a NO. She said NO to the fear rising up within her to say YES to the angel's command not to fear! She said NO to her own plans for that day, that week, that month, that year so she could say YES to God's astounding plans for her. She said NO to the comfort of delivering her child with her community's fold to say YES to do as Caesar told. He said NO too. He said NO to the cultural expectations of having a new bride who would serve him when he chose to say YES to serving an expectant mother. He said NO to a lifestyle that would have been convenient had he not married her, to say YES to caring for her and the baby. He said NO to his carpentry clients and his extended family's needs when he said YES to new instructions given in dreams. Together, they said: NO to complaining so they could say YES to praising God NO to self-entitlements so they could say YES to identifying with the disadvantaged NO to security in their la...

They started their journey in silence.  Because they barely knew each other.  But also, because they had so much to think about.    She had been on long journeys before.  She had travelled on a donkey before.    But she had never been pregnant before. She had never given birth before. And now as she travelled away from her mother and all the women who could have supported her with her delivery, she had a lot to be nervous about.   She looked at him as he led the donkey she was sitting on. He seemed to be a decent man. Responsible. Took the news of her unexpected pregnancy remarkably well, all things considering. Seemed focus on getting them safely to Bethlehem for the census and the delivery.    But could he really handle all that was to happen? Having a baby is hard enough. Then raising a child together, keeping such a huge secret together. Would he be up for the narrow road ahead?    "The road ...

There was a time that I could function without to-do lists. I cannot for the life of me, remember that time in my life but I'm sure it existed. To-do lists are my biggest 'keep calm' tool. As I'm typing this out, I remembered two tasks and added them to my to-do lists. Now I can free my brain for other important business like...hmnn... wait...i can't remember what right now but I'm sure I have a to-do list of the big  things I wanna do when I get through my to-do list for the day without reaching zero battery in my mind and body.  There are many ways you can do to-do lists. One way is to just make a laundry list of all the things sauntering through your mind and keep attacking them.  Another way is to make entries under headings like: urgent, important, dream stuff, etc. A third way is to just sit every night before bed and schedule things in for the next day/days/week as they come up. More exciting than my own to-do lists are the ones I make for my kids. Becaus...