LISTEN

Like any other busy mommy, I find my brain wandering away for a little private picnic in the land of imagination every once in a while because a real picnic is nowhere on the horizon. On one such trip, it came up with a messymiraculousmommy's list of recommendations for new inventions:

1. A self cleaning house: No need for dusters, brooms, pans, mops, scrubbers, washcloths when you have a self cleaning house. Whenever a stain or some dirt appears, that part of the house just eats it up.

Three advantages:

[a] the more dirt the house eats the stronger it gets

[b] kids can enjoy being as messy as they wanna be

[c] house is always clean without mommy doing anything!

2. A mischief detector: When a mischievous plan is being cooked up, the mischief detector goes off, letting the mischief planner know that his or her game is up. Mommy doesn't even need to know about what she didn't need to handle.

3. The super duper multi level planner: a computer that knows the messymiraculousmommy and her life very well and factors in every possible variable, all possible outcomes and gameplans to help the said mommy navigate smoothly through the day.

Yes, if I had these three inventions, life would be 'nirmal anand' or 'sweet bliss'.

The constant navigation of dirty stuff to clean, mischievous plans to outwit and a steady stream of problems to solve would leave me mentally drained out unless I had the Expert to help! Did you know there is someone you can call up for anything and everything and He will come?!

The upside is He's not from the land of imagination, He's as real as you and me and as close as the mention of His name. He is personally invested in us, wants to help us, love us, strengthen us, mature us and even challenge us. But the biggest problem is He only speaks in a gentlemanly tone, so if you've got too much noise going on inside your head, you won't be able to hear Him even if you call Him.

Another downside is He can't be programmed or controlled like a device so He calls His own shots. He's not a magic fix it all; He does allow a lot of mess in my life to continue unaided in order to build up my endurance and character. Or maybe that's an upside too! In any case, He's far more efficient than an invention and the only reason my mind wandered off to dream up the inventions is because I still struggle with the idea that I can't give Him instructions; I can't control Him. I want something automatic and since He's a person, He requires a relationship and that takes effort.

I had heard about this person in my childhood days through songs and literature but I had never seen anyone actually having a conversation with Him till I was all grown up and thought I knew everything about everything. (me rolling eyes at younger self!)

It was only when I realized the futility of having everything I ever wanted (because it still didn't make me happy) that I was desperate to hear what this person (God) has to say to me and I opened my heart and listened. At first He sounded like a deep thought emerging through my brain, yet clearly a thought I could not have had myself because I was being given new information, not just new insight. As I started listening, He sounded like a nudge from a good friend, sometimes like a chuckle on an inside joke between the two of us, but most times like a clear, precise call to action that was too hard for me to do on my own.

Many times, I have asked Him straightforwardly for His opinion and He's always answered clearly. One such day, I woke up feeling queasy but not sick enough to bunk work. I had a sense that I was going to be sick later in the day, so was contemplating whether to make the 1.5 hour long commute to work and return home earlier in the day if I felt sick or just not go. I had the sense that this was a decision more important than it seemed prima facie. So I knelt down and prayed asking the Holy Spirit i.e. the least known person of these three persons (Father-Jesus-Spirit) yet One God: should I go or not? And clearly, I heard: NO. I was quite surprised because I was feeling guilty about bunking and was expecting God to put me straight and send me off to work. Yet, I just decided to roll with it and obey the distinct voice I heard.

After an unproductive day, a long nap and waking up feeling healthier than ever, I began to regret using up a sick leave that I could have used when I was really sick. I put on the TV out of boredom and was stunned to see that on that day, the 11^th of July 2006, there were 7 bomb blasts on the railway track I would have used at the same time I would have travelled back from work. 209 people died that day in those bomb blasts. Everyone who travelled that route at peak hours that day was stranded and had to find other transport or walk hours to reach home because all trains were suspended. I was not one of them. Why not? I truly have no idea. It's definitely not because I'm special in any way. And I'm not trying to make any assumptions about those who did not stay home that day. If this had happened prior to my knowing the Holy Spirit, I would have been wracked with survivor guilt, worried and anxious about not being able to help others. But since I know Him and I was certain He told me to stay home, I just bowed down in gratitude and prayed for those out there.

Many years later, during a very difficult 3 week long stint at the hospital, I saw a man who had been injured in that bomb blast and was living in that hospital for atleast 4 years at the time. God powerfully reminded me again of His significance in my life. I can say very surely for many many many times in my life- I would not be alive today if it hadn't been for the Holy Spirit's answer to my call. I cannot overestimate to you the number of super important things the Holy Spirit knows about your life and all that He wants to save you from.

                                                                                  (pic credit: Zarah)

That being said, let me clarify that His main job is not to protect me from disasters or comfort me in pain but to lead me through a transformative process to become like Him in character. There are many tragedies He has knowingly not protected me from. But because of the trusting relationship we now share, I can accept even when I cannot understand how - that He will use all my pain for some good.

The world will tell you to listen to your instinct, some would even say I'm delusional. But the best guts know nothing about what you cannot perceive with human senses, not even with the sixth sense. God knows you, because God created you in love for a specific purpose. He's deeply invested in knowing you. But you can't really be known unless you're in a relationship with Him. How does one enter into a relationship with Him? Simply call out from the depths of your heart: God, are you out there? Can you please come and meet me? I want to talk to you. I want to know you and be known by you.

So, listen. Open up your heart and ask God to speak to you. Challenge Him if you need to. You have nothing to lose because no one will know you tried unless you tell them. God said: “Call to me and I will answer you and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known” Jeremiah 33:3.

Hold Him to His Word.

To begin, listen to this song: