Take care!

To my dearest sojourners in caregiving,

to the parents of young ones,

to the caregivers of elderly ones,

to the marathon-caregivers of those needing care all their lives,

to the ones caring for others even though they need so much care themselves,

I'm thinking of you.

I know you can't really sleep at night because you have to be alert all the time

I know that even when you do sleep, you wake up with a start because it feels like you haven't been alert for your loved one

I know how much you pray for them to be free from pain

How their pain hurts your heart so piercingly, you can't bear it

I know how the days pass so slowly, how the months crawl by,

each minute taking its own sweet time.

I know how you feel walking slower than you can,

living slower than you want to

watching other people's lives and wondering when you can do anything you want to,  

when you want to again

I know how you watch out so closely for every small detail of your loved one

a shortened breath, a blanked out gaze, a limp in their walk,

every single little thing matters

 

 

I know how you breathe when they sleep easy

I know how you want to do a million things but you choose to just be

for a few seconds – to be – without anyone needing you to be theirs

I know how you yearn to pour your heart out

but who really has the energy to listen late in the night when you have the time to talk?

I know how your tears are held back

day after day, night after night,

because if you let the dam down,

your tears will overwhelm many others

I know how each hour is so different from anything you can expect

when nothing is predictable,

where its useless to plan

but its so crucial to be fluid

when your days become nights and your nights become days

and even when you are inclined to take one day at a time

for a long time it seems more prudent to take one hour at a time

when something sweet happens and you realize

you are actually smiling

alone. to yourself.

how strange that feels

to have family and friends who care

yet to have to walk this path alone

because at the end of the day (is there even such a thing for us?)

its YOU the buck stops at.

You are responsible for another human being's life.

I know the weight of that responsibility.

When all that the doctors say and all that the well wishers advise rolls around in your mind and you go with your gut

because you know that you are responsible for another human being's life

I know how you don't want to leave a single stone unturned

I know how you want to love with every last drop of blood, sweat and tears you've got

but somedays you are so tired, so sick, so drained out that you can't move

but you move because you are watching

you move because you have to live with yourself

because no matter how exhausted you are, the person you are caring for is far more helpless than you are

We know who we are because see it in each other's eyes

we know that anyone who has walked down this path is incapable of judging the other

because we've all failed so many times

and yet we soldier on, because seriously, buddy, you know there's no one else

who will relieve you of this responsibility right now.

and when others rarely volunteer to take a shift or rub your feet,

it feels so strange you can't fully enjoy it

because the time it takes to explain to them what they have to do in your absence

and the time you spend wondering if your loved one is ok without you

feels longer than the years you've spent caring for them

Yet, when you hear of someone who's a newbie in our caregiver town,

you rush out to make life a little easier for them

because you know what it takes

and you know its gonna really cost them

to lay down their lives in love.

My best friend,

He never stayed up all night with a crying baby

nor changed an adult's diapers

nor wished He didn't have to do both in the same phase of His life.

And yet, He's the One who taught me how to do it all.

Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you.

1 Peter 5:7

The rest of the world can only ask 'how are you?' and say 'take care' but He knows exactly how you are and He actually cares for you.

I care for you too.

And while I really cannot take your shift or rub your feet today.

I'm sitting here thinking of you and praying for you and your loved ones.

Resting in His arms in the midst of the uncertainty that lies before both of us.

Because I know He cares for you.

I write this to you because I know

how lonely it feels

like no one else has a clue

but I want you to know there are many others who do

and even though we can't be with you right now

and it seems like no one can possibly care.

Jesus watches you and Jesus cares

if you can't see the video, please click on this link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mqIPUwPmv18