(part 2: Are you REALLY adopted?)

As the years rolled by, we got more and more comfortable with the variety of people's responses to our family's adoption status. We started enjoying the process of revealing the fact of our children's adoption. We began helping people understand adoption because we really wanted to normalize adoption for every future adoptive family.


One of the ways we did that was to allow new people we met to really get a hang of who we were as a family, to get to know our children and us as individuals and then casually slip in the fact that they are genetically unrelated to each other and us.


One of the funniest responses we got was: "are they really adopted??!!!" I said "yes". The lady asked again, in complete shock: "so, they are not your own?" I said, "of course they are my own, they are just not born to me." More shock on her face and more free entertainment for me ;)


But her question was coming from a place of complete disbelief: what she saw before her: our complete fellowship and bonding as a family is not the picture she had of adoption in her head. Moreover, for some reason, she couldn't believe this kind of life was possible at all for adopted families.


And I understood where she was coming from, because the first time I walked into a room full of adoptive families at the annual get-together our adoption agency organizes, I felt the same kind of shock and relief. These were families who all had their share of struggles like we did and yet, they looked so 'normal'. We were still praying about adoption then, but that sense of peace I that followed the shock and relief, gave me the hope that we could be one of them too.


But this was only because my children had willy-nilly completely disconnected from their life before they came home to us, even though they are fully aware of their past and are at peace with it.


This got me really thinking about my own adoption by my Abba Father.

  1. Have I really understood, accepted and disconnected from my life before I became His daughter?

  2. Am I truly throwing myself fully into this adopted relationship, enjoying every aspect of His parenthood, reveling in what His family has to offer me?

  3. Does my life with Him in all its wonder and glory seem so normal that people watching will ask in awe: are you really adopted?


Firstly, even though I don't remember my infant baptism, that was the day I got adopted by Him. It took another 23 years though for me to start living in the abundance of that relationship, simply because, no one told me I was adopted by God. You see for 23 years, I thought the life I had was the only life possible. Once I realized, that that wasn't true- that I was adopted 23 years ago by my Heavenly Father specifically so that I could be transferred out of the kingdom of darkness into the kingdom of light, it changed everything. It gave me permission to leave behind everything in my past to look forward to all that I longed for- all that only my Heavenly Father could give me. But I couldn't have any of that unless I truly left my 'natural' life behind for my adopted one.

I had to repeatedly remind myself: "I don't have to behave like this anymore. I am a new creation. I belong to my Abba Father. I have a heavenly family supporting and nurturing me in this adopted life."



Secondly, it really took some time getting used to being the daughter of the King of the world! You know, in all the 'prince and the pauper' themed movies, they always show the rich guy having a hard time adjusting and the poor guy just lapping it all up. Let me tell you- it took me a long time to adjust to the truth that I was a princess. Sure, I wanted to leave my pauperly ways behind, but the princess crown kept slipping off!


Even now, my Heavenly Father has to repeatedly remind me to rely on His heavenly resources instead of my earthly ones, trust His heavenly timing instead of what I can envision with earthly understanding and throw myself into His heavenly plans instead of limiting myself to my earthly to-do list. I'm the daughter of the King of the world! I'm the apple of His eye! I'm well provided for, well cared for, well loved all the time, but especially when I don't feel it. Am I fully enjoying my adoptive status and family?


Thirdly, do I allow others to stand in awe of my adoption by God? Or do I let them believe that the extraordinary life I enjoy now is the way it has always been? Do I let them experience what I have now and then tell them the truth- that I wasn't born into this fullness of life? That I lost the chance to enjoy it for 23 years and I don't want to miss a single day now? Do I want them to drop their jaws and let it sink in? - she is really adopted!


So if anyone is in Christ, there is a new creation: everything old has passed away; see, everything has become new! 2 Corinthians 5:17



If you can't see the video, click here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kwjOLFMZhQo




Comments

  1. UnknownOctober 19, 2020 at 2:06 AM

    Beautiful!
    Parenthood is such an awesome responsibility which we need to keep learning from
    ABBA

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The ABC of Dementia Caregiving

Image
In the last 5 years, I have found that it is extremely difficult to explain to anyone unaffected by dementia (or wilfully ignorant of it), what exactly a dementia caregiver (unpaid, voluntary responsibility-taker) does all day, all week, all month... So I came up with one word for every letter in the A-Z so that someday if you are faced with the choice of taking up responsibility for your LOWD (Loved One With Dementia) you have some idea what you are signing up for: A is for Advocate  Speaking up for those who cannot speak up for themselves.  Being an advocate for your LOWD's rights, wishes and especially for their rights that are in conflict with their own wishes B is for Bum area (et al) specialist The actual daily responsibility one human being can take for another is directly understandable by how much they know about their fluid intake and output, the quality and frequency of their bowel movements, their susceptibility to UTIs and bed sores and most importantly how to get them
Read more

LISTEN

Image
Like any other busy mommy, I find my brain wandering away for a little private picnic in the land of imagination every once in a while because a real picnic is nowhere on the horizon. On one such trip, it came up with a messymiraculousmommy's list of recommendations for new inventions: A self cleaning house: No need for dusters, brooms, pans, mops, scrubbers, washcloths when you have a self cleaning house. Whenever a stain or some dirt appears, that part of the house just eats it up. Three advantages: [a] the more dirt the house eats the stronger it gets [b] kids can enjoy being as messy as they wanna be [c] house is always clean without mommy doing anything! A mischief detector: When a mischievous plan is being cooked up, the mischief detector goes off, letting the mischief planner know that his or her game is up. Mommy doesn't even need to know about what she didn't need to handle. The super duper multi level planner: a computer t
Read more

10 things about motherhood that I wish I knew before becoming a mother

Image
This week 10 years ago, I was making the huge transition from ‘I’m a barren woman waiting for a baby’ to ‘I’m a mother and my 3-month-old daughter is coming home soon!’   This week 10 years ago, the sight of baby clothes, the smell of baby powder and the feel of baby diapers brought a huge smile on my face instead of the usual streams of tears.   This week 10 years ago, my life changed irreversibly and I have lived the best 10 years of my 42-year-old life. The heavens had opened and God showered on us a season of immense favour after what seemed like an eternity of wandering in the desert.   In these 10 years, I served through only two short hospitalizations for family members in comparison with 7 hospitalizations with family members and 6 times being hospitalized myself in the decades prior. I’m not even counting the very many accidents, surgeries not requiring hospitalization and other caregiving adventures. Through all these experiences, God had taught me a lot about mo
Read more