Lost and Found

 Have you ever read the parable of the prodigal son and wondered what happened to his older brother? Well, here’s my attempt at sharing his side of the story.




The young man sat under the huge tree just outside his father’s house, grateful for its shade.

His back was turned away from the house, away from the blaring music, away from the scurrying servants, away from the smell of grand food wafting towards him. His head was hot from working all morning in the field and his stomach was rumbling. He gulped down the last few sips of water he had carried with him and stared into the open field.

“I’m not going in”, he told himself as his stomach rumbled again.

A cool breeze blew towards him, causing the little swing on the tree to bump into him. He held it close and remembered the day his mother cajoled him to let his younger brother sit there even though he had finished all his chores and had just settled into it.

They always pampered him. He’s younger than you- let him have this, they said. He’s small, he doesn’t understand- you compromise, they said. And when he finally left, taking his share of our inheritance with him, they wept for him for days, while I stayed close because I had to pick up the pieces of their broken hearts.  

When I finished my chores, I had to help him with his. When I achieved anything and got a reward, I had to share it with him. And for the last year and a half, I’ve been doing all his chores too, carrying the load of two men alone, using all my free time to cheer up mother and father, without any respite or time to worry about what’s happening to him. And this is what I get.

His head was even hotter now. The shade and the water did not help calm down his anger. I’m done being the responsible one. I should have left before he did. That would have taught them all a good lesson. Then he would be stuck with all this work and I would have roamed free.

He stared out into the field again. What lies beyond that, he wondered.

Where would I have gone if I had all that money to spend? Gone into the next town and began my own business? Met a girl and bought a house to start a life with her? He laughed at his own thoughts, acknowledging that he would never have made it that far without turning back. Mother and father had dreams of their own too and they pushed them aside to welcome me into the world. I couldn’t possibly be that ungrateful as to take half of all their life’s labour to spend it on myself. That too, while they are still alive. What would they have managed on? How would they face the prospect of old age without a responsible son around? No, no, no…that would have never worked because I just don’t have it in me to break their hearts like he did.

He was the pampered one because he could never keep up with me, never do anything as well as I could, never found his place in life as a man.

And now that he’s back (empty-handed without a doubt), they are feasting over him, delighting in him all over again. And I’m expected to just join in the revelry??! Who is going to account for the fortune he lost? Who is going to tell him he has to start doing his share of the work? Who is going to give me a break to do what I really want to do with my life?

Yeah, its great that we have such merciful parents that they just welcomed the prodigal son home. But where is the justice in all this? What do I get for obeying and serving my parents all these years? No inheritance? No lavish party in honour of the responsible son? No vacation with my friends? It’s just so unfair. And now they expect me to just go on in this drudgery, working all day, while they go back to fussing over him??!! No chance!

His stomach growled once more, silenced only by his pride. He bowed his head and tears rolled out. They are all so busy delighting over him and feeding him that no one has even noticed I haven’t returned home yet. Hot tears kept streaming down his face as the swing bumped into his head once more. He got up, broke the tiny swing into two with one clean move and hurled the pieces around the branch so they wouldn’t hurt him anymore.

He sat down again in despair and cried so loudly he didn’t hear the footsteps behind him.

It was Father. He sat down besides his grieving son and lowered his head in grief too, saying nothing. They sat in silence for a while, until Father began to speak, “Please…”. No, said the young man. I’m saying no. Now you need to listen to me for a change. All these years, I’ve said yes to everything you asked of me. I worked harder than your servants did, just to please you. And that rascal has eaten up half your savings and now you intend to spend my half on him too?! What’s left for me, then?! Where’s my fatted calf? Where’s my party? What do you have for me?!!!!!

Their eyes met and even through his angry tears, he could see the love in his father’s eyes. The silence was broken by another stomach rumbling but it wasn’t his. His father had stayed hungry too. They both broke into an awkward laughter at the sound of the old man’s stomach rumbling. And for a moment, a very brief moment, they both forgot why they were sitting there, under the huge tree, right in front of the house.

 Father reminded him gently: Son, you have always been faithful to me. And everything I have is yours. This tree, this house, all my servants, all my businesses, everything has been left to you alone. The young man was shocked. What? How? Won’t you give him another half of all you have? What am I supposed to do with him after you’re gone? Who is going to take responsibility for him? Because I am most certainly not going to!!

Son, your brother was dead and he has come back to life. He was lost and now he’s found. I wouldn’t worry too much about him now. Those worrying days are behind us. I’m sitting here with you, being hungry with you, because I’m more concerned about what’s going to happen to you.

Me??! Are you serious, father?! I can take care of myself. I have always been the responsible one.

And yet, you need your Father right now to sit beside you and work this one out, don’t you? I have a lot more to give you than property and money, my son. So, if you are asking only for that, you are asking for way too little. Do you understand what I’m saying? The son wanted to understand, but no, he didn’t understand- at least not yet.  

After a lot more talking things through, he looked up at His Father’s eyes again and he finally saw it. He was the apple of his father’s eye. He was the favoured one. And His father was absolutely right- everything his father had was his. His father never ate without him eating, never slept without checking with him how his day went, never went out with his own friends to gamble like the other fathers did. His father stayed home, stayed faithful to his family and made sure everyone was ok. And he was his father’s son, the apple that didn’t fall far from the tree. His father had poured himself out into his favoured son so that his son would never be alone on the path to holiness.

Suddenly, he saw himself through his father’s eyes. His father was proud of him for being so much like him. His father loved him so much he would rather be hungry with him, than feasting with everyone else. What he was going to inherit from his father in terms of money and property meant absolutely nothing compared to what he had already got from him. I have my father’s character. I have my father’s sense of justice. I have my father’s passion to work hard in honest labour. But most importantly, I have my father’s heart. And in that moment, he could look into the heart of his old man, so relieved that his son whom everyone had taken for dead, was alive and home. In that moment, he could see his father’s heart, full of hope for the future. Father, are you sure, he’s changed? He asked. I’m sure, replied the Father. But I can understand your hesitation because a lot has happened. Maybe the four of us need to sit down together and talk it all through, make sure the boundaries are set right this time around. That will really give our family a fresh chance.

Son, both of you are my sons. Both of you have rights as well as responsibilities. But they won’t always be equal the way you want them to be. People are different and we need to figure out our relationships with the reality of who people are rather than the image of who we want them to be.

Well then, if you can trust him again, I suppose I can too, Father. But only with your help. Your house, your rules. I will go by your sense of right and wrong, your sense of justice and mercy. I will submit to you in all that you ask of me, but I reserve the right to do it freely.

Of course, my son, I already have all the servants I need. It is my sons I want to spend my time with. You are free to be the best version of yourself under my roof. And you are free to fail too. Because as I have already proven today: my heart is already big enough for the most wasteful son.

They hugged long and hard until their stomachs growled again. Let’s go eat! Said the father, in great cheer. Not before I hug my mother and brother just like you hugged me, replied the son.

 

As they walked back to the house, with their arms around each other, the young man shuddered. I came so close to losing my father forever today. And as he looked up at their beautiful big house, he thought: I would willingly give all of this up, just to be more like the man my Father is today. Just before they crossed the threshold, the son turned to the Father and said: Thank you Father for searching for me. I was lost but now I’m found.




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